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‘I was drinking a lot and mentally, I was in quite a dark place’: Harry Lewis opens up on tough spell at Bradford City and gratitude to Mark Hughes after Barnsley interest
The lows, by contrast, can hang around like a thick fog and stalk you.
Bradford City goalkeeper Harry Lewis and his team-mates have been picking up the pieces this week after the Bantams’ painful League Two loss at Morecambe.
It has not made for the best of weeks, but the fact that the next game is just around the corner, makes it more bearable.
Back in May, it was different. City’s season unravelled in extra-time in their play-off semi-final second leg at Carlisle United. Hundreds of delighted Cumbrians invaded the pitch at the end and Brunton Park was not a place for losers.
It hit Lewis hard. After a special journey, Wembley was not the final destination.
He was in a ‘dark place’ for a short while.
Candidly opening up on that time, he said: “Being really honest, I didn’t really take very good care of myself for about a week afterwards.
“I was drinking a lot and mentally, I was in quite a dark place and my mum was worried sick. I didn’t ring her or answer my phone.
“I was too scared to open any sort of social media or WhatsApp or anything. I just didn’t want to talk to anyone.
“People were lovely and even Bradford City fans were lovely saying: ‘It will be okay and we will go again next season.’ I just didn’t want to hear it was going to be okay.
“I just wanted someone to just tell me that this was the worst thing on earth and that it was never going to get better. Because that’s how I felt – I felt I was never going to get over it.
“I probably had a week where I drank too much and stayed out late and didn’t really talk to anybody and kept myself to myself.
“I just didn’t know it was going to get any better.
“I know that sounds so dramatic and it obviously is.
“But for that week, I just needed to be sad.”
Thankfully, Lewis has managed to move on, re-set mentally and is wiser for the experience. But that being said, high summer was not straightforward.
Preparing for the new season, Lewis was the target of interest from League One club Barnsley.
News of the interest occurred while City were in Spain at a warm-weather training camp. It prompted Mark Hughes to nip the situation in the bud by categorically stating Lewis was not going anywhere.
The speculation had briefly affected the keeper. Hughes provided him with the necessary clarity and reassurance.
It also reaffirmed his commitment to City – a club which has not just seeped into his soul, but reaffirmed his love of football after some tough times at previous team Southampton.
Lewis continued: “To be spoken to like a human being and not just a piece of meat, that is really special.
“I know, at the end of the day, I am just an asset to this football club. But I am just a kid from Shrewsbury and to be spoken to like that means a lot. The way the fans have taken in myself, but also my family…
“I am getting sick of people asking how my mum is as she loves the away days and the home games and everything!
“That’s what I wanted – to be somewhere that feels like home and where people make me and my family feel welcome.
“I know there was a situation out of my control with another club who were showing interest or whatever.
“But I made it very, very clear that I have no problem staying here if the bid wasn’t right.
“I love this club and am perfectly happy with the way people have welcomed me and the way I have made myself feel and become a part of – the club and the city.
“I really have fallen in love with football again.
“I am very grateful for Bradford City for everything that they have done for my career and everything they continue to do.
“That is always the most important thing for me.”
For Lewis, the obvious team goal this season is promotion. Personally, it’s all about consistency. That separates the good goalkeepers from the average ones.
He added: “I probably got a bit tired towards the end of the season and performances probably got a bit tired and probably tailed off a bit.
“I remember the Leyton Orient game at home and waking up in the morning and thinking, physically, I don’t know how I am going to be able to get through this game.
“My back was sore and was going from playing five games in a season to 55.
“For me, I am in a better position than I was last year because I have had a year of that experience – physically, mentally and emotionally.
“Good goalkeepers are consistent. They might not be nine out of ten every week, but they are a steady seven.”
And that, after the lows he went through, is something Harry Lewis will gladly take this year.